1.我已经想你10个小时了，已经想你9个小时啦，请8点钟把时间交给我吧，我绝不会7次失望你，让你永远6个小时在我身边，5分钟4秒钟，绝不会对你3分2秒，这辈子就爱你1刻啦。

2.其实我也想安静地写作业，可是我家的WiFi像个人似的对我喊：“来上网呀来上网呀！”

3.老板花两万买了个水晶灯怎么看着怪怪的！

4.等不到的晚安就别等了，挤不进的世界就别挤了。

5.new型闹钟：明天早上6点30分起床

6.自从换了这款包，再也不怕小偷了。

7.“你喜欢什么样的男人”“我喜欢笑起来会发光的男人”“是说如来吗”

8.我会蜕变，我会坚强，我会强大，我会给自己天下。

9.write给前任的信……

10.骂我的人一定是不够了解我的，因为了解我的人，都想砍死我。

11.want to be a cultured foodie: under the moonlight, I think of making疙瘩汤; as thin as yellow flowers, I remember braised pork with soy sauce and sugar; just when the lotus leaf is about to open its tip, I see stir-fried noodles with tofu; as the moon sets and the night falls, it's time for steamed corn with chestnuts and three fresh vegetables from my garden; in spring, when the wind blows green over Jiangnan's banks, I long for cold noodles at dawn.

12.I dare not fall down before you need me to protect you.

13.Cut off your own escape route so that you can better win your way out.

14.Some people! They are one thing in front of you! Another thing behind your back! Old son will eventually tailor-made a set for you!

15.The English listening test is just listening to two people talk, and then they ask us what they said.

16.This morning wake-up took 5 minutes altogether; you have defeated 88% of students nationwide; there is still one student in our dorm who failed to wake up and is starting again now; all computers in neighboring dorms are frozen!

17.A man who looks good saying goodbye calls it saying goodbye while a man who looks bad saying it calls it sexual harassment.

18.I'll name my future daughter "好靓" so that whenever anyone sees her they'll say "Good-looking mother."

19.Social gatherings carry risks - classmates must be cautious.

20."We must have a serious talk!" "About what?" "Love!"