1.多希望有一天我们可以变回陌生，然后还能和你重新认识一遍。你看我怎么玩死你。

2.我一定要在你平庸无奇的人生里做一个闪闪发光的神经病。

3.都说女孩子生气时把她按住强吻就行了，可是我为什么会被她男朋友打呢。

4.一次闺蜜喝酒喝多了，我把她带到家，她一进我家就拿着我刚买的仓鼠往窗外扔，还说了句：“去吧!皮卡丘~”

5.感觉这初夏的蚊子就像十岁的小女孩，没技术没经验，一切只是轻柔的。深秋的蚊子像四十岁的妇女，经验丰富，要多狠有多狠。

6.你能和姑娘出去开房对我置之不理，我就能载着帅哥游山玩水亲吻缠绵，你能长篇大论地跟姑娘暧昧，我就能把你当成垃圾狗屁。所以奉劝你，永远不要怀疑我的行动力，你有胆量背叛，我就有胆量还击。

7.老师：“考成这个样子，你们跟猪是什么关系?”学生：“师生关系……”

8.幸好我是个胖子，伤心的时候还可以摸摸小肚子。

9.梦里梦到的人醒来后该睡他，这一程便是余生。

10.i喜欢交朋友但i不喜欢供祖宗.

11.dream里dream到的人醒来后该睡他。这一程便是余生.

12.eighteen岁那年 i 将jj举向天空，以为为了整个世界。后来天空下雨了。我以为整个世界了.

13.do理是要跟懂do理的人讲，对于没皮没脸的人，就要以其人之do还治其人之身.

14.woman哭了是废物，但不哭的是怪物.

15.teacher对mēi say, 这个年纪有喜欢的人很正常，但是最好藏在心底。如果you想起他的时候就做一道数学题。等毕业时把做满数学题的本子放在他面前告诉he you have many think of him much like him，不信he not moved when he sees that I have been doing math problems for him since we met at school and I put the notebook full of math problems in front of him when we graduate from school and tell him that I often think of him and do math problems for him, he won't be moved by this? This plan is really good, but when I reached the second problem, I didn't like it anymore.

16.young people don't go crazy until old age can say anything about the past then what can you say?

17.when someone pushes you down, no matter how painful or tiring it is, you must stand up and give them a slap back as hard as they gave it to you.

18.every day three times examine myself: where did i put my key? Where did i put my phone? Where did i put my meal card?

19."when doing homework,you should try to understand what the person who made the question had in mind." "Teacher,your intention was to kill me."

20.i've already passed the age of being unreasonable,it's time to start pretending now...